Here’s a list of true facts about me:

  1. I have a BA and MFA in poetry.
  2. A tiger once roared at me while I was wearing a tuxedo
  3. I worked as a full-time rave promoter from 1999-2001
  4. I lived for a year in London.
  5. I lived for a summer in Valencia, Spain.
  6. I saved a child’s life in Paris.
  7. I’ve been on the front page of Reddit.
  8. I worked as a telephone match maker.
  9. I worked at Hardee’s.
  10. I worked in a bagel shop.
  11. I worked in a grocery store deli.
  12. I worked in an ice cream shop.
  13. I worked as a telemarketer (and KILLED).
  14. I spent my teenage years living on a peacock farm with two moms.
  15. Once, with a casual, off-hand remark, I made an entire elevator full of SNL people laugh, including Andy Samberg.